The Stethoscope, a Link to Past, Present and Future

Originally shared on Grief Healing

Our elder daughter, mother of our twin grandchildren, died from the injuries she received in a car crash. This was bad enough, but six months later, the twin’s father died from the injuries he received in another crash. 
His death made our grandchildren orphans and the county court, following our daughter’s will, appointed my husband and me as their guardians. The twins (one boy, one girl) were 15 years old when they moved in with us and lived with us for seven years.

At first, the twins treated family meals like a fuel stop; fill up and head out. My husband is a retired physician and we often talked about medical topics. As time passed, however, my grandson became interested in our conversations, listened intently, and asked questions. The twins graduated from high school and left for college, our grandson to the College of Neuroscience at the University of Minnesota, our granddaughter to Coe College in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. Both graduated with high honors and Phi Beta Kappa.

Our granddaughter accepted a job with The Salvation Army. Our grandson was interested in becoming a physician, but took a year off to do research in a Mayo Clinic laboratory. He applied to many medical schools and was accepted by the Mayo Clinic School of Medicine, a true feat. Mayo receives 5,000 applications a year and accepts only one percent. He just started medical school and invited us to parents’ weekend. 

We attended a welcoming dinner, luncheon, and the Commitment to Medicine ceremony. Before the ceremony a speaker told the students they were there because of family support, a sentence that brought tears to my eyes. I thought of the profound sorrow we felt, our efforts to become a family, the twin’s achievements, and the other physicians in the family.  

My husband’s father, a specialist in diseases of the chest, was a Mayo Clinic physician and died two days after our daughter died. My husband’s specialties were aviation medicine internal medicine, and public health. Now our grandson was starting his journey. He said the Commitment Pledge to Medicine with others in the class and each student was presented with a stethoscope.  

For me, the stethoscope symbolized a family tradition and the desire to help. While attending the ceremony was an emotional experience, I managed to keep my feelings in check until the end of the day. I helped my disabled husband get into bed and went to bed myself. Instead of snuggling under the covers I suddenly burst into tears. I sobbed for my father-in-law and wished he had lived to see this day. I sobbed for my daughter and knew she would have been proud of her son. I sobbed for my former son-in-law and knew he would have been proud too. And I sobbed for my disabled husband’s resolve and courage. 

I’ve studied grief for years and knew I was having an anniversary reaction, but wasn’t prepared for its intensity. Deborah Serani Psy.D. writes about “The Anniversary Effect” in a Psychology Today website article. “Make sure you take good care of yourself during these times,” she advises. Her care suggestions include checking the calendar well ahead of time, being aware of public trauma, talking with a family member, journaling, blogging, and using creative expression. A Mayo Clinic website article, “Grief: Coping with Reminders After a Loss,” notes that reminders can be anywhere. Unexpected reminders may be linked to something we see, hear, or smell. 

The stethoscope symbolized so many things, among them sorrow, reconciliation, recovery, goal-setting, determination, studiousness, persistence, family pride, and hope. My grandson will be a fine physician and I know he will use his stethoscope compassionately.

Rhubarb-Strawberry Cake with Cinnamon and Nut Topping

Since this recipe isn’t in The Family Caregiver’s Cookbook I decided to post it on my blog. The recipe is a cross between coffee cake and dessert cake. John and I like it so much we eat leftover cake for breakfast. Because rhubarb is seasonal and because I don’t have time to drive to farm stands to find it, I use a frozen product.  The original recipe came from a local grocery store. Although it is excellent I felt the recipe needed to be updated, and here’s my healthier version.

INGREDIENTS

• ½ cup butter flavored Crisco (half a stick)
• 1 ½ cups light brown sugar
• 1 large egg, room temperature
• 2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
• 1 cup pre-sifted white flour
• 1 cup whole wheat flour
• ½ teaspoon salt (or reduced sodium salt)
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1 cup reduced fat buttermilk
• 1 ½ cups rhubarb, cut into small pieces
• ½ cup strawberries, quartered (more if you wish)
• ½ cup granulated sugar
• 2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
• ½ cup chopped walnuts (or pecans, or sliced almonds)

METHOD

1. Heat oven to 350 degrees. Coat a 13” x 9” baking pan with cooking spray.
2. In a medium bowl, cream Crisco and brown sugar together with electric mixer.
3. Add egg and vanilla. Beat until fluffy.
4. In a large bowl, whisk together white flour, wheat flour, salt, and baking soda.
5. Add dry ingredients to wet in batches, alternating between buttermilk and flour.
6. Fold in rhubarb and strawberries.
7. Transfer cake batter to prepared pan.
8. Set pan on center oven rack and bake for 45 minutes, or until cake starts to pull away from the pan. Makes 12 servings.

Be a Savvy Author and Carry These Things with You

Book Marketing can be as much work as writing. You need to be able to summarize your book in two sentences (an “elevator speech) and print materials to support your book or series. Carry these materials in a shopping bag, large purse, or briefcase. Having materials isn’t enough, however, and you have to distribute them. What do you need?

Business cards. Small as it is, a business card is really a mini biography of you and should be professionally designed. Include your photo, writing genre, contact information, and summary phrase, such as “a romantic mystery.” Your photo should be current, not a shot that was taken 10 years ago. Be sure to include your website address.

Information Cards. A 5 ½-inch by 8-inch card is a good size. Your book cover, or covers, are printed on the front, and “sell copy” on the back. Ask your publisher for help if you haven’t written sell copy before. To encourage people to read both sides of the card, put “over” with an arrow on the bottom, right-hand corner of the front. Include your publisher’s name, logo, logos for the social media you use, and your website address. Inexpensive cards are available online.

Flyers. If you have art training or are familiar with computer graphics, design your own flyer. It should include your book cover, publisher, and some descriptive words. For example, the flyer for my upcoming cookbook says, “easy-fix recipes,” “real-life stories,” and “speed shopping tips.” Four-color flyers are more costly than black, but remember that color sells. To save money, print your flyer in black ink on colored stock.   

Author brochures. Although I’m familiar with this idea, I’ve never acted upon it, so it’s still on my “To Do” list. I’m going to wrote the copy, but wait on printing because my marketing budget is strained right now. Tri-fold brochures are common and fairly cheap. Include clear photos only. No photos are better than fuzzy ones that frustrate readers.  

A sample book. Nothing takes the place of having an actual book—something you can show top potential readers. Store your book in a plastic zipper bag. To prevent the cover from getting bent, and the corners from getting damaged, put protective cardboard over the front and back.

Bookmarks. Some publishers recommend them and others don’t. I had bookmarks printed for two of my latest books and have given out only a few. The graphic designer’s fee was more than I anticipated, and I had to pay for printing and shipping. If you have bookmarks, store them with your sample book.

One Family Caregiver’s Self-Kindness Steps

Savor at least 15 minutes of quiet a day.

Continue to write articles, books, and speak to groups.

Listen to music when driving around town.

Always have blooming plants in our home.

Feed the birds regularly and observe them.

Wear clothes that feel good and make me happy.

Try new foods, products and recipes.

Be proud of my age and accomplishments.

Read more articles and books for fun.

Continue to learn.

Live mindfully despite my busy schedule.

Volunteer my time and talents.

Say “I love you” every day.

Thoughts about Writer’s Block

Sorry, but I don’t believe in writer’s block. As a health and wellness writer, I believe in more research, re-thinking points, and revisions. Russian composer and pianist, Igor Stragvinsky, expressed my outlook. “Just as appetite comes by eating, so work brings inspiration, if inspiration is not discernible at the beginning.” When I’m stuck on a word, sentence, or paragraph, I take a short break, have a cup of coffee, and return to work. 

Pink Petunias, Nature, and Writing

In my former house I had a large home office, with a wall of book shelves, a long counter to lay out manuscript pages, and computer desk in front of the window. The window looked out over the back yard, a place of seasonal changes and wonder. Beyond the boundaries of our yard was a wooded area with mature trees, an ideal place for birds to rest.

While I was writing I would see cardinals, junkos, sparrows, blue jays, and other birds. I would check the weather—sun breaking through clouds after rain, a storm blowing in from the Dakotas. Deer passed through the yard, often stopping to eat our roses. I saw several female deer with their fawns, and herds of deer meandering together.  Wild turkeys walked by and one winter day I saw a flock of wild pheasants.

Two years ago we moved from the home we had lived in for more than 20 years to a small townhome. It was a forced move. My husband’s aorta dissected and he had three emergency operations. During the third operation he suffered a spinal stroke that paralyzed his legs. Although I visited many assisted living communities, none of them had apartments that met our needs, so I built a wheelchair accessible townhome for us.

We’ve lived here for two years. No home office. No long counter. No window overlooking the back yard. Today, my office is a notch cut from the laundry room. The notch is barely wide enough to hold my computer desk and a small filing cabinet. Instead of looking at nature I look at a wall. Although I’ve hung family photos on the wall, looking at them isn’t the same as looking at nature.

Spring finally came to Minnesota, a time when residents rush out to buy bedding plants and seed backyard gardens. Gardening is difficult for me, due to two arthritic hips and knees, so I asked a horticulturalist to plant petunias by our front walk. When the door is open and I’m working, I see the petunias, the large pot of geraniums, and bench I bought. Across the street, I see a lush, green hillside, inhabited by a variety of birds, and deer that traverse secret paths.

Before I sit down to write, I open the door and look at this scene, the bright pink of the petunias, darker pink of the geraniums, and brilliant green shrubs. I am grateful for this connection with nature. Richard Louv, author of Last Child in the Woods: Saving Our Children from Nature-Deficit Disorder, devotes an entire chapter of his book to the idea of nature nurturing creativity.

Louv describes nature as imperfectly perfect and thinks connecting with it inspires children and adults alike. “Nature—the sublime, the harsh, and the beautiful—offers something that the street or gated community or computer game cannot,” he writes. Connecting with nature connects us with the basics of life, he continues, “earth, water, air, and other living kin, large and small.”  

The last few days I’ve been writing like crazy: letters, social media posts, book marketing pieces, and articles for three websites. I think my increased creativity comes from the view outside my door. Yesterday, torrential rain flattened the petunias and I wondered if they would survive. But today, the flowers are upright and thriving. Thank you, pink petunias, for your happy faces, glorious color, and strength. You inspire me.

Want to Write a Cookbook? 10 Helpful Tips

Whether it’s novels, non-fiction, poetry, plays, stories, essays, or affirmations, each writing form has rules. This is true of cookbooks. Formats may change, terms may change, and it’s wise to be aware of these things before you start writing. These tips will save you time and work.

1. First, determine the chapter topics and titles. You may follow current trends or opt for originality.
2. Create recipe titles that inform and tantalize. Every title should tell, instantly, what the recipe is about.
3. Add personal comments and stories. These comments will make your cookbook original and interesting. 
4. Check product names. Granular flour, for example, used to be called gravy flour and is now called quick-mixing.
5. List necessary tools. A melon baller may be used to make orbs of butter, for example.
6. Follow capitalization rules. Names that refer to actual places usually begin with caps.
7. Number directions. Reading numbered steps is easier than reading paragraphs.
8. Include colored photos. Black and white photos are a turn-off; colored photos spark the appetite.
9. Credit the sources you’ve used. This is common courtesy and legal protection for you.
10. Make easy-reading your goal. Readers appreciate graphics and larger print.

Author Tips for Dealing with Disappointment

When I received my first rejection notice I cried. Since then, I’ve learned how to cope with rejection. I heed publishers’ advice, write better query letters and emails, keep trying to improve, and stay current on industry trends. Putting a manuscript away for a few months and revising it helps too. And I abide by James Michener’s quote:

“I’m not a very good writer, but I’m an excellent rewriter.”

Why I Speak for Free

Some authors get hundreds of dollars for speaking. In addition, their travel, lodging, and food expenses are paid by the group or organization that invites them to speak. For these authors, giving talks about their books is a second income. Good for them, because speaking isn’t easy, and preparing a talk takes thought and time and confidence.

Author talks can be in-person talks in front of a group, or television talks, or video talks on the Internet. Webinars are another trend and good publicity for authors. I’m a low-tech author—no webinars or Internet talks for me. However, I speak to community groups, have been on television dozens of times, scores of blog talk radio programs, and speak for free.  

“Really?” one person asked. I told her it was true, but if I have to travel, I would appreciate gas money and lodging if I have to stay overnight. I don’t ask organizations to pay for my food because I would eat anyway  Why don’t I charge for speaking?

Speaker’s goal. A bereaved parent and author of eight grief resources, I speak about grief reconciliation, recovery, and creating a new life. I also give workshops about creating happiness. I don’t charge for these presentations because I don’t want people to think I’m trying to make money from their tragedies.  

Public perception. I want community groups and organizations to be able to afford me. In August I’m speaking to a St. Paul, Minnesota health-care group that provides in-home services for families. Charging for the talk would make me feel uncomfortable. When the conference planner asked me about my fee she was relieved to hear I don’t charge for presentations. I asked if she would be willing to pay for my gas and she was more than willing.

Author branding. Giving talks and workshops helps me to develop my brand as a health and wellness writer. Varying my talks helps listeners to learn more about me and the books I’ve written. In addition to speaking for free, I provide handouts for audience members. Handouts help them remember me and, thanks to the contact info at the bottom, makes it easy for folks to contact me.

Several years ago I gave a workshop about anticipatory grief. A woman approached me afterwards and said, “I’ve had these feeling for years. Now I can name them. Thank you.” Giving to others helps me and that’s the main reason I speak for free. We’re all in this life together and speaking for free makes me feel good inside.

Your Caregiving Happiness Jar

The idea of keeping a happiness jar has been bouncing around the Internet for months. I first encountered the idea on Facebook. Other posts supported the idea. “I’ll do it,” I said to myself. “Documenting happiness will be fun.” On January 2, 2015 I put my first piece of paper in a wide-mouth Mason jar. It says: “John on zero gravity machine. Looks like his left leg is starting to work.”

The note doesn’t convey the importance of the message. My husband’s aorta dissected in 2013 and he had three emergency operations. During the last one, 13 hours of life-threatening surgery, he suffered a spinal stroke and it paralyzed his legs. After being in the hospital for eight months he was dismissed to my care. A year and a half later he started rehabilitation and the results are stunning.

Thankfully, I have almost 18 years of caregiving experience to draw upon. I was my mother’s family caregiver for nine years and she had dementia. I was my twin grandchildren’s co-guardian and caregiver for seven years. But being my husband’s caregiver is a different story because I’ve never cared for a disabled person before. Still, there are happy moments to document and savor.

So I am keeping two happiness jars, one about my daily life, and the other about caregiving.  You may wish to keep a caregiving happiness jar too, or may be keeping it already. How do you go about it? The idea comes from Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love. She offers some tips in a repost of her article, “Happiness Jar” on the Sacred Folly website. Here is a summary of her instructions.

• Get a large jar or box.
• Write your happiest moment of the day on a small piece of paper.
• Stick the paper in the jar.
• Do this for a year.
• When the year ends, empty the jar and review your life.

Gilbert has been doing this for a long time and loves it. She considers her happiness jar “the whole point of this life.” A happiness jar is also a way to document your life. Without the jar, you may forget these small, meaningful moments of the day. Unlike Gilbert, I don’t write down the happiest moment of the day, I write down several happy moments, a sort of gratitude journal in a jar.

My approach helps me see the positives of life and makes me aware of my blessings. Right now, the notes in the caregiving happiness jar fall into these categories: 1) my husband’s health, 2) daily life, and 3) our family. Future notes may generate additional categories, but the categories aren’t as important as writing the notes. Though I’ve only been doing this a short time, I’m amazed at the benefits of such a simple task.

I am reminded, yet again, that I have an amazing life.

What’s in my caregiving jar? A note about my husband’s health says “John had an amazing rehab session – left leg almost working on its own.” The note doesn’t say my husband seems to be a miracle in the making. A note about daily life says “John loved his lunch – chicken salad with dried cranberries and almonds and warm peanut butter cookies.” The note doesn’t say I love to cook and especially love cooking for my husband, the care receiver.

Right now, the caregiving jar is smaller than my other jar, but I expect this to change. In the months to come, I think the reverse will be true, and the caregiving jar will be the larger one. Being my husband’s caregiver defines my life, and I’m documenting this life with words. Your situation may be similar to mine. Have you been thinking about keeping a happiness jar? If so, make it a caregiving happiness jar, written proof of your life, what you do in a day, and most important, that caregiving is love in action. 

One Author's Writing Philosophy, Thanks to Abe Lincoln

Every author has their own approach to writing. One may include page-long paragraphs, so detailed you feel like you are there. Another may string words together in short sentences and move the plot along quickly. Other authors drop clues here and there to spark curiosity. Usually an author’s writing genre reflects his or her philosophy.

For example, biographers search for unknown and little-known facts and photos about a person. Novelists weave real-life experiences, situations, and news headlines into their fictional plots. Nonfiction writers are grounded in facts, keep checking their facts, and cite their resources in bibliographies. Genre requirements very, yet the basics are the same, and writing is hard work.

I’m a freelance health and wellness writer. When I started 37 years ago I didn’t think about my writing purpose. Instead, I followed my instincts and let them lead me forward on the career path. As the years passed, my life changed and my writing changed too. Today I focus on purpose and it is as clear as glass—produce work that helps others. But if you asked me to describe this approach I would probably be wordy.

Thankfully, President Abraham Lincoln summarized my philosophy years ago. He once said: I do the very best I know how—the very best I can, and I mean to keep on doing so until the end.

Lincoln’s phrase, “the very best I know how,” makes me think of the years I spent in the writing trenches, learning, failing, trying again and again. Beginning writers need to understand a tenant of the craft and it’s a simple one: The more you write, the better you get. I once read an online letter from a new writer who said it took her three days to produce a 500-word article. The answer she received: “You need to write more.”

Lincoln’s quote implies persistence. Obstacles and dilemmas and sorrows didn’t keep Lincoln from trying. I think persistence counts as much as talent in life. An author’s persistence includes good work habits, a comfortable schedule, formatting a manuscript properly, adhering to submission guidelines, creating professional letters and emails, rebounding from rejecting, helping other authors, and maturing. While I’m not always

While I’m not always completely satisfied with my writing, the urge to do better keeps me moving forward. Following Lincoln’s example, I continue to write, and plan to do so until the end of my life. I’m grateful for all of the writing opportunities that come my way: writing for several websites, writing articles for regional and national magazines, and writing health and wellness books. I’m also grateful to the community organizations that ask me to speak.

If you’re wondering about your writing philosophy and purpose, Abraham Lincoln’s quote may serve as a starting point. I think the true meaning and power of his quote rests with personal responsibility. We have decided to write. We work to become published authors. We try to keep improving. We write because we must. Thank you, Abraham Lincoln, for stating a writer’s life purpose in such simple words. While I’m not always satisfied with what I’ve produced, I know I tried.

The urge to do better tugs me forward. As Lincoln said, I do my best and plan on doing so until the end of my days. I’m grateful for the opportunities that come to me, including writing for websites, articles for regional and national magazines, and brochures for community groups. I’m also grateful for invitations to speak at conferences. Opportunities like these help authors spread the word about their books.

If you’re unsure about your writing philosophy Lincoln’s quote may serve as a starting point. What points could you add to the quote? Does your statement need more detail? Authors write because we’re compelled to write. We keep honing our craft and trying to improve. We keep challenging ourselves and relish the challenges. Thank you, Abraham Lincoln, for stating our mission in simple, concise, and uplifting words.

Creating an Objectives Handout for Your Talk

When you agree to speak at a conference, the planners will ask you to list your needs. Are you bringing a personal computer or do you need to borrow one? Which do you prefer, a stationary microphone or clip-on one? Do you need an easel or flip chart? Will you have handouts?

Today, handouts are usually posted on the organization's website and registrants are supposed to print them out. I created three handouts for a recent conference. Most attendees printed out the handouts, but some did not. I knew this would happen, and that's why I distributed an objectives handout at the conference. An objectives handout has several advantages.

• It helps attendees to follow the points of your talk and keeps them on track.
• An objectives handout shows that you planned your presentation carefully and done your "homework."
• You can list contact information on the bottom of the handout. As I was leaving the conference, several people asked if I would speak to their organizations. "I have your contact information," one added.
• The handout helps attendees remember the information you share and, just as important, remember you.
• You may list the book or books you've written on an objectives handout. I listed the four books in my family caregiver series and my publisher's website address.
• The handout may also serve as a replacement for your business card.

All are good reasons to create an objectives handout for your next presentation. I wish you good weather, good attendance, and good luck!

Author's Metadata Scorecard: How Do You Rate?

Although I worked for a computer software firm, I’m not a technical person. I didn’t grow up with computers and my learning has been trial and error. Sometimes this learning has been painful, and other times it’s been funny. My publisher wants authors to post on social media, so I posted: When I was minding my own business a book idea popped into my mind.

That’s what I thought I posted, but when I looked at the screen I was horrivied to see I said the idea pooped into my mind! At the time I didn’t know how to delete a post and, within seconds, comments started to appear. One viewer wrote, “Hilarious!” Another wrote,  “Too funny.” Being a computer klutz wasn’t funny to me.

Since then, I’ve made computer learning a life focus. Recently I listened to “Metadata is Your Brand,” a podcast by Bublish founder Kathy Meis. According to Meis, metadata is information that computers use to access information, or “online book discovery.” If you and I had metadata scorecards how would we rate?

Book category. Your publisher will be glad to help you choose a category. Since I write health/wellness books I thought my category would be “health.” Not so. It turns out they fit under “self-help” and “inspiration.”

Keywords.  Long before my book started production my publisher asked me to think of keywords.  Some of the words: family, caregiving, caregiver, care receiver, home health, and health-care. Brainstorm on keywords for your book.

Images (book covers). Look at book covers on publishers’ websites and Amazon. Notice that some covers stand out and others are poor in comparison. The cover of your book should be eye-catching and include elements that represent the content.

Locations. This category includes your publisher’s website, Amazon listing, ebook listing, and online presence. With these things in mind, I’ve added extra information to the end of my mails: Visit (website link), Learn (blog link), Like (Facebook link) Connect (LinkedIn link), and Follow (Twitter link.)

Get Amazon Reviews. Your options include asking friends to post reviews, paying for reviews, putting an electronic version on a review website, book groups and clubs. Allow lots of lead time because garnering revews is a slow, challenging process. If you get 10 reviews the computers will notice. Get 50 reviews and the compuers will order more books.

Use Hashtags. This is a new practice for me and may be new to you. Think of a hashtag as a file category system. Rachael Sprung expalins in her Internet article, “How to Use Hashtags In Your Social Media Marketing.” Her suggestions: 1) Be unique and specific, 2) Make it eay to remember, 3) Use on multiple social media.

Authors can improve their metadata information. But it’s a detailed, ongoing task. What would you look for if you wanted to discover your book? Think creatively, think technically, and think Metadata. Help to spread the word about the book you care about so much.

Smart Marketing Tips for Indie Authors

• Create a website and keep it current.

• Add a blog to your website and post quality stuff.

• Give away professionally designed bookmarks.

• Give away free print or electronic books.

• Tap the power of social media, yet post carefully.

• Create free talks that explain and expand your book.

• Always carry a book and business cards with you.

• Pay a professional reviewer/review service for a write-up.

• Ask friends/colleagues to post reviews on Amazon.

• Write free articles for national/regional magazines.

• Build a relationship with local media and keep them informed.

• Update your alma mater about your work.

• Take at least one marketing step a day.

• Track your progress in a book marketing log.

Keeping a Book Marketing Log

KEEPING A BOOK MARKETING LOG

Publishers want their authors to get involved in marketing. I understand this and do all I can to promote my books. Despite detailed marketing plans, I couldn't keep track of all of the marketing steps I took. Then I had a "light bulb" moment. I could track my steps in a book marketing log. Although my log entries are short, they document my marketing efforts and are paying off. According to my publisher, sales are picking up. Keeping a log is helping me to sustain and vary my marketing efforts. Some days I do more than others and that's okay. The total book marketing picture is what counts.

So far, I have accumulated two months of entries, and they reveal some important truths.

One: Participating in social media is crucial. I post on Facebook and Twitter every day. Most of my posts are about my personal life. When circumstances warrant it, I post about a book in production, a forthcoming book, or a surprising sale. Many authors have responded to my posts with likes, retweets, and follows. I follow some other authors, but not all of the ones who send me tweets.

Two: Paid reviews can be helpful. Most professional reviewing services charge a hefty sum for their efforts. Since I don't have the money for this, I looked for affordable alternatives, and Midwest Book Review was one of them. I followed the submission steps-business letter, two copies of my book, and $50 for the reviewer. To my surprise, two books in my family caregiver series were reviewed. According to Midwest Book Review, I may use these reviews as I wish.

Three: Giving books away is one of the cheapest marketing steps. My husband is disabled and he was recently hospitalized for pneumonia. After three days in the hospital, he was sent home, and a Nurse Practitioner followed up on his case. At the conclusion of her visit I gave her copes of the three books in my family caregiver series. When the Nurse Practitioner checked on my husband the following week, she said she was going to tell people in her department about my books at the daily staff meeting. That's great publicity for three give-away books.

Four: Book marketing isn't a sprint. It can years to achieve name recognition and boost sales. So I'm going to keep up my marketing efforts and continue to make entries in my log. You may wish to keep a book marketing log too if you're an author. Do it for a year, or half a year, or a couple of months. Read your entries and see if any patterns emerge. What is working? What isn't working? Book marketing isn't for wimps, that's for sure. We have to work at marketing as hard as we worked on our books.

Harriet Hodgson, BS MA

Health & Wellness Writer

www.harriethodgson.com http://www.harriethodgson.com/

A Story of a Malfunctioning Smoke Alarm, Huge Fire Truck, and Five Firemen

My husband is disabled and I’m his primary caregiver. I can be gone for a short time, but limit that time to one and a half hours. While I’m gone I worry about my husband constantly. Is he warm enough? Did he change the position of his wheelchair every 30 minutes, as prescribed? Returning home is always a relief.

The other day I went to get a haircut and color touch-up, a welcome break from caregiving.  Before I left, I helped my husband transfer from wheelchair to hospital bed, positioned his over-the-bed table, and handed him a cell phone. I also moved his wheelchair close to the bed in case he needed it.  

When I returned home from the beauty shop I was surprised to see my husband in his wheelchair, watching television. “Did you get out of bed yourself?” I asked.

“No, a fireman helped me,” he replied.

His answer puzzled me. Maybe I had missed a linking sentence, or my hearing aids needed new batteries. “What fireman?” I asked. Then he told me this story.

Shortly after I left the house a smoke alarm suddenly went off. This signal alerted our alarm company, and a representative called. The man asked if my husband was okay. “I don’t smell any smoke,” my husband said, “but I can’t give you any more details because I’m a paraplegic and in bed.”

According to the representative, the local fire company had already been notified, and he asked how they could enter our home. “Well, the front door is locked,” my husband explained. “I’ll give you the garage door code and they can come in that way.”

About 15 minutes lager a huge fire truck pulled up in front of our townhome. Three firemen (two stayed on the truck) came in the back door and entered my husband’s bedroom. They asked him some questions and my husband said he could be more helpful if he was out of bed. “If I try to get up myself that will take a half hour,” he explained. “If you swing my legs to the side, I can be up in a few minutes.”

The lead fireman swung his legs to the side and moved the wheelchair closer for easy access. Meanwhile, the other firemen checked all of the smoke alarms. They tried to disable the blaring alarm and, when that was unsuccessful, removed it from the ceiling. It turned out to be a defective alarm, and we had a new one installed.

Then I did something I needed to do. I drove to the fire station, which is only a half mile from our place, and rang the doorbell. A fireman came to the door. I handed him my business card so he would remember our address, told him the story of the malfunctioning smoke alarm, and asked him to thank the crew. “I didn’t work that shift,” he noted. “That was a different shift and I will thank them for you.”

“Thank you,” I replied, “because helping my disabled husband get out of bed was above and beyond the call of duty.”

The fireman smiled. “We’re here to serve,” he answered. Certainly, the afternoon crew served us. We are grateful to all the firemen who serve their communities day and night. They are caregivers, too, and face a myriad of challenges, many of them life-threatening. My husband and I thank the local firemen for their prompt, caring service. 

The Family Caregiver’s Guide – An Interview with Harriet Hodgson

Recently I had the pleasure of interviewing with BooksGoSocial.com about my book The Family Caregiver's Guide. You can view the original blog post over at BooksGoSocial.

Tell us something unexpected about yourself!

I love to cook and decorate. In fact, I read cookbooks the way some people read novels. My interest in decorating may have come about because my husband and I have moved 17 times. A graduate degree in art education also influences my love of decorating and interest in art museums.

What kind of books do you write?

All of my books fall in the self-help category. As much as I appreciate fiction, especially mysteries, I’m a realist at heart, and write non-fiction.

What inspired you to write?

I’ve had many unusual and painful experiences in life, such as the death of my elder daughter. In times of stress I turn to writing. When I research a book I’m helping myself and others at the same time. I believe my greatest talent as a writer is to distill information and present it in an organized, simple way.

What makes your writing stand out from the crowd?

My books connect the dots between research and real life. Readers don’t remember numbers, but they remember stories, which is why I weave real-life stories into research findings. Right now my work focuses on family caregiving, an idea that came from my life. I’ve cared for three generations of family members, my mother (nine years), my orphaned twin grandchildren (seven years), and my husband's disabled years (two years with more to come).

What is the hardest part of writing – for you?

Reliving painful experiences can be difficult and I’ve often found myself in tears. Still, readers can grasp the sincerity of my work. Editors too. As one said, “Thanks for writing so honestly.”

Where do you like to write – what is your routine?

In my last house I had a dedicated office. Today, my husband and I live in a wheelchair-friendly townhome. My office, if it can be called that, is a notch cut out of the laundry room, and my computer desk is really in a hallway. Sometimes I get annoyed with my notch office, but I can’t criticize it because four books about family caregiving have come from the notch.

What do you do when you are not writing – do you have a day job?

I love writing so much I actually write in my sleep. Around three in the morning my mind tells me about an error in the first paragraph on page 37 or helps me revise a sentence. When I get up at five in the morning I’m revved and raring to go. Original work is written in the morning. Business letters, contacts, and social network postings tend to be in the afternoon. For me, every day is a writing day.

Do you work with an outline or just write?

Because I’m a non-fiction writer, I make detailed outlines that include all major points, sub-points, and references that need to be cited.

What advice would you have for other writers?

Whether it’s emails, or letters, or paragraphs, or experimenting with words, I encourage you to write every day.

How important is marketing and social media for you?

Both are very important to me but I’m 80 years old and come from a generation that was taught not to brag. I shared this thought with the owner of my publishing company. Her reply was helpful and wise: “You’re not bragging, you’re citing facts.” One problem I have is that people can’t believe a older person like me can still be productive. In truth, I have so many new ideas I hardly know what to do with them. I’ve written a fifth book in my family caregiver series and want to do one more revision before I submit it to the publisher.

What’s your next step?

 My next step it to revise the marketing outline that I created for my caregiving series, improve my social media skills, and continue to give talks and workshops that extend my books.

The Family Caregiver’s Guide by Harriet Hodgson is available here.

10 Spiritual Aspects of Caregiving

Caregiving is love in action.

Caregiving makes us practice patience.

Caregiving causes us to look inward.

Caregiving links us with the past, present, and future.

Caregiving makes us aware of the joy of giving.

Caregiving leads us in new directions.

Caregiving is a learning experience.

Caregiving brings out the best in us.

Caregiving helps us see what is important.

Caregiving honors the miracle of each and every life.

Blessings of Being a Freelance Writer

I've been a freelance writer for 37 years. During this time I've witnessed the growth of the computer age, development of social media marketing, and become aware of the blessings of my writing career. Freelance writing demands discipline and persistence, yet it has distinct advantages.

I'm my own boss. For me, and other freelancers, this is a biggie. We determine our own hours, our own writing schedule, stick to this schedule, or depart from it when necessary. Sometimes I work too long and too hard, and have to force myself to take a break from writing.

I pick my writing projects. Because I am able to do this, I am excited about every article and book I write. In fact, I get so excited I can hardly sleep, am eager to get up in the morning, and start writing again. Some of the topics I've written about have surprised me.

I get to meet interesting people. After I've finished a book, I develop talks and workshops to go with it. Speaking to community groups is fun and I get as much from workshop attendees and they get from me. Writing links me with a broad variety of people, and this makes me feel like a citizen of the world.

I offer input on cover and layout. Thanks to a gradate degree in art, I can see every book cover in my mind and printed words on a page or computer screen. It has been a joy to work with my current publisher because the publishing team accepts my photo and layout suggestions. 

I can help with book marketing. Some writers may think this is a drag, but I think it's exciting. I get to try new book marketing strategies, appear on television, appear on talk radio, and blog talk radio. At this age and stage of life, I never thought I'd be posting on social media, but do it regularly.

I find joy in every project. Although every book doesn't turn out the way I planned, I find satisfaction in the fact that I researched a topic, write a good outline, and completed the manuscript. Even better, I get to hold each book in my hands.

You understand these blessings if you're a freelance writer. With careful observation, and awareness of our self-talk, and continuing to hone our craft, we can discover more blessings. I am thankful for my writing career and blessed to be a freelancer. Here's to freelancers everywhere