Of her own grief Harriet Hodgson opens Winning saying, “My emotions jumped around like crickets on a summer night.” She then proceeds masterfully to tell her tale, which will meet readers exactly where they are. Anyone who is experiencing grief will certainly find solace in the pages ofWinning. Harriet’s words are like a warm sweater hanging in the closet, there to put on when needed. This book is not, however, just for grieving readers. Winning has life lessons knit up in its pages useful for just about everyone, now in preparation for times to come when “life comes to a standstill.” Winning is reinforcing of relationships in general and the give and take that defines both life and love.Winning outlines the ways in which we all, at times, must wash our faces, pull up our socks, and press on. Harriet Hodgson becomes the gentle voice of a you-can-do-too cheerleader.
Grief is born of loss. Often that loss is one of death. Most everyone who lives into adulthood will experience grief adherent to loss from death. There are other times we grieve, however. We grieve before, during, and after relationship losses and job losses, losses of security, losses of hope, losses of expectation, and losses of physical and cognitive abilities. Often we don’t even know our emotions are those of grief. Consider how important it is to reach for this book before one is fought in the depths of grief. It is a roadmap and preparation for a mountainous trek that might lie just around the corner. Indeed, from chapter to chapter, Winning begs to be in the hands of everyone. Friends and family of those who grieve will learn about the process and will see themselves positioned better to help. Medical students and health care providers, pastors, parents, counselors of all sorts can learn much in Winning they can use to validate and reassure. It is a window into a world many already inhabit with others soon to join.
Harriet Hodgson does not insist in any way. She just lays her self-reflective experience at her readers’ feet. She doesn’t tell readers what is wrong with them, but suggests what is right. Oft we all hear, “Just breathe.” Well Harriet Hodgson in Winning will tell how! How to divert one’s mind. How at once to cast and catch a life rope. Harriet puts words to very real concepts and her terminology then allows readers to think about and understand grief in constructive ways. The strengthening ideas she puts into her readers’ quivers include grief brain, girders, collective grief, five-minute vacations, anticipatory grief, linking objects, setbacks, backward thinking, and the need for “nothing days.” She is not preachy but humble. Readers who open her pages will discover triumphs and hurdles relatable and organically shared; wind is found for everyone’s sails.
Linda Pagnano, Esquire and bereaved daughter.
******
I met Harriet Hodgson at Charter House shortly after she and her husband had moved in. Charter House was where my mother had received loving care when she years ago met the challenges of and passed away from cancer. My father lived on for over a decade in this thriving senior living community. When I met Harriet that day, Dad was nearly fifteen years into his memory loss diagnosis and caring for him was, for me, a top priority requiring just exactly the “one-woman advocacy” Harriet describes in Winning. I immediately recognized attributes in Harriet to admire and model. In our few interactions that occurred before Covid-19 wreaked its havoc, I came to learn that Harriet was an author who’d written extensively on many subjects including caregiving and dementia. Of all the books I’d collected on these topics, Harriet’s became the ones I most treasured and kept front and center. I could open them to any page at any time and find some sort of encouraging take away. She became a constant companion in this way. When Covid-19 coupled with my father’s advanced illness left us only one loving answer of bringing him home to live out his last year, I created a comfort space on a couch tucked behind plants. I had there a cozy blanket and Harriet’s books, and many were the times I ducked into that place for the renewal of Harriet’s reassuring words. To be asked to write a review for Winning was both an honor and a privilege.
